Over the last few days I have had in small influx of supportive comments over Twitter towards my situation. Attention was drawn after Naz Shah acted in a hugely inappropriate way, liking and retweeting a post on an Owen Jones parody account, requesting victims of Pakistani grooming gangs to “Shut up in the name of diversity.” She later claimed this action was a mistake. I couldn’t help but look at her Twitter feed and what further upset me was the endless support for her from Labour MPs. I felt sickened by not only her actions, but the reaction of the Labour party, (who I have for the most part supported in the past, along with other left party’s) and also the lack of action by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. He was so quick to push MP Sarah Champion out of government, a woman who confronted the issue of Pakistani grooming/rape gangs.
So why does any of this matter?
Well, I can understand to some degree how mocked and offended the victims of these grooming gangs feel. I am so grateful I never went through what those poor girls suffered, however I do have a fairly good understanding as to why it is so hard to turn to the police where multicultural offences have taken place on white or majority victims. Despite feeling the usual emotions of shame, humiliation and self-hatred after being raped by an immigrant who I did not know, I felt extreme anger and resentment that there was a huge risk of arrest and questioning by police on the basis of perceived racism. My attacker was Asian.
I had to question if the risk of further humiliation and possible action against myself for racism was really worth the inevitable probability that my attacker likely will never be found. I couldn’t come to that decision until I had gone through months of therapy in the aftermath of my attack. Even after the therapy it took some time to muster up the courage to approach the police. It was Christmas eve I visited the station having spent months sobbing over the horrendous stories coming out in the media regarding the ignored grooming gang cases. It was most important I no longer carried this weight around during such a special time of the year.
I did exactly the right thing. However I understandably question if the actions of the police to take my complaint seriously was a reflection of the outburst of media stories. Never-the-less the detective on my case has been incredible. His hard work paid off and the attacker located, although not in this country.
The next stage…
I am currently putting together medical evidence and news reports to support my tribunal case. This tribunal case will ensure I receive compensation for the sexual assault against me. Unfortunately I’m being denied the compensation as so many victims are today. The tribunal case means that I’m stuck in limbo feeling more resentment and anger as I see the fast progression, absurdity and suppression of political correctness. As a victim it is excruciating to observe. The refusal for allowing me to receive compensation is because I reported the crime too late.
Despite the fact that one week after being raped I had to undergo neurological surgery to have a brain tumour removed, this reason has not been accepted. It seems these days disabled people aren’t covered by the shield of political correctness, but only race, religion, gender and sexuality. But still I fight on.
What do I hope to achieve?
Well apart from the obvious, to win my rightful compensation, it has to be recognised that like myself, the majority of the victims are vulnerable people living in low income households. This is a particular concern to me because we are unable to find the finances to pay for our own legal team. As with so many of these victims, I intend to defend myself in this tribunal. And in doing so I want to document the steps I take, the news reports I used and any other relevant information I can provide to perhaps help someone, anyone gain some extra knowledge and understanding about what they next have to go through. I did turn to charities, but I found them to pass me on to other people within the organisation. It all seemed so chaotic, perhaps due to underfunding? For myself the best and only option is to fight this alone to the bitter end.
So back to that small influx of supporters on Twitter…
I have been very much alone through this experience. Those who I confided in left me. Now too scared to speak up in real life I’m speaking only through a screen. It has helped me deal with my emotions on the controversial political ideologies flying around at present. But most of all, I’m now finally getting the support I so desperately need. The fleeting second it takes for you to retweet my story, the momentary like and the simple acknowledgement that you know I’m hurting, you care that I’m struggling and quite frankly the obvious sign that you just give a shit. It matters to me. More than you can ever imagine. So please, don’t ever underestimate your support. It means the world to me.