I haven’t really spoken about Telford, I’m ashamed to say. This isn’t because I don’t care about it. I do! Some of the details have me struggle with flashbacks of my own experience. That in itself is very hard to deal with and balance into my life. When I have flashbacks, I get angry and emotional. Trying to deal with that alongside raising a dependent child alone is no easy task. So, I have to work through my emotions slowly and privately before I can discuss such a topic.
Then comes a feeling of guilt. How can I make these tragic circumstances which have taken place against these girls about me? Again, I am ridden with shame that I am making such a tragedy all about me and my experience. It is then when I decide perhaps I should avoid such a subject, as perhaps I might not be able to ‘discuss it appropriately’. It is then that I realise, this kind of thinking and mindset is why it isn’t being discussed in the mainstream media.
Perhaps the channel may appear too racist on its coverage. Perhaps the mainstream platform might come across too sexist, maybe even misogynistic. Inevitably we see the mainstream media shy away from such a sensitive topic, highlighting it for a matter of minutes, then distracting themselves with issues of no real concern, lacking in great evidence… such as the Russia coverage. My concerns and fears aren’t that, but instead appearing self-centred. But I think for the sake of a healthy home life and my son’s wellbeing, it has to be dealt with in my way.
I haven’t received any questions as to why I haven’t yet discussed it. I suspect many people understand. In fact, I know they do. This is another reason I believe the media avoid the subject. I have seen all too often celebrities and well-known persons object to discussing such subjects for fear that the ‘racists will jump on board the issue to further their own political agenda’. What that actually insinuates however, is that anyone who discusses such a subject is a racist trying to lead a racist political agenda. Comments such as this are dishonest, hurtful to those who care and enabling to those who harm.
I have been very lucky in the support I have received. No one I receive support from is doing it for any other reason than that they care about what so many victims are going through. I have been emailed by many who want to help. They speak to me, something I didn’t expect to happen, after my friends turned their back on me. They let me call them whenever I get down. I doubt that is easy for a stranger to sit at the end of a phone listen to another stranger sob. I’m not sure how doing that advances such a person’s political agenda.
It is still the case I have not read the details regarding Telford. I can’t. I know a fire was lit, and three people died. At that point I become teary, having flashback of my frantic attempts to soak the porch of my home in water, for fear that my home was also going to get set alight. I’m convinced it was a threat made after I had been raped by the Asian migrant who had forced his way into my home. I had been out for a drink with my friend. It was a sad affair. The following weekend I was due to undergo brain surgery to have a brain tumour removed.
To read details about those murders; being set alight to as they slept, is all too a real fear I have and struggle with even today. But that’s not the only difficulty I have with these endless reports of rape against women. It was not so long ago when there was a report of a woman walking home in Tower Hamlets, London, who was pulled down an alley way and raped. After the rapist left she went to get help from a passer-by. This passer-by then proceeded to rape her. This happened a third time, all in one hour. Again, I struggled to deal with this, flashbacks coming racing through my mind as I recalled a stranger shove his foot into my opening door and tell me to lie down in my own living room ‘and then he won’t hurt me’. Only he did. He killed me that day, and I became someone else.
I’m scared, I’m paranoid. I don’t trust the authorities at all. I don’t trust friends or family. I only trust myself. I have become completely inward, unable and now unwilling to open up to the world. That is a very toxic and unstable mindset. It is that mindset, which will see me burst with rage and do something I would never have been capable of doing had I just talked things out. But it is a mindset I have learned, a mindset taught to us by none other than our own authorities, mainstream media and not least, government. Our society turned toxic over four decades ago, before it had been reported, since this extremist sexual violence (referred to as ‘grooming gangs’ by the mainstream media) started. The governments must have known.
Channel 4 reportedly made a documentary about the gangs in 2004 but pulled the release date for European and local elections (The Guardian). The mainstream media prioritised politics over the welfare and safety of thousands of children. What’s more they continue to do this. It is now you rally need to ask yourselves, is it Facebook and Cambridge Analytica and Russia who brainwash me, or the government and mainstream media? And Channel 4, the so-called hyper progressive channel, suppressing oppression. How ironic.
It is these who claim only racist groups ‘jump onboard these grooming gang crimes to further their political agenda’. However, evidence points to those very accusers, suppressing and therefore enabling such atrocities to advance their own political agenda. They certainly speak decisively about truths they know. Finally, I would like to guide you to a couple of forum threads I found on the internet, written by Sikhs in the 2000’s. I hope these Sikhs reported what they saw to the police. But it is clear this has been openly discussed on the internet for some time now.
Finally, it is important for me to add that you should not be angry at those who have been the victims of such consequences. Some accuse of being racist, bigoted or Islamophobic. I would agree I personally am Islamophobic. Islam is a terrifying religion to me. If people can mass bomb and rape children based on the scriptures, then it is right to be fearful of those scriptures. Does speaking out make a person racist or bigoted? Well would it be racist to report the race of the perpetrator to the police? If not, why is it racist to report the race of the perpetrator in discussion?
I also get told I deserved it, that I had voted for it. Well as established in this post. The mass rapes had been suppressed to such a degree that few people knew other than those directly affected. Tommy Robinson spoke out after his cousin fell victim. Did she deserve it because she her family had voted for it? No. It is often the case that through the education system we are taught to be accepting and tolerant even of those who refuse to tolerate us. It is not easy to argue that when as children we know we lack any real knowledge. It is also probable that some victims grew up in solely white areas where multiculturalism had not been implemented (like myself), so lacked any understanding of what has been heading our way.
It is support that the victims and family members of such victims need. Not accusations. And that is indeed what we get for the most part. The most incredible support. And always remember… when it is claimed that showing this support is a racist action to further a political agenda. Ask yourself why for over 40 years, did the government suppress this? Why did no government interject? Why did mainstream media conclude that politics should be served over breaking stories which could have protected thousands of girls? Was that to further their own political agenda?